Mother’s Day in the U.S. arrives this Sunday. Do you have your game plan ready? I don’t . . . yet. So, for the benefit of anyone else who is still hunting for ideas, I thought I would compile this quick list of tips to organize your Mother’s Day gifts.

Tip No. 1: It’s really not about the money.

Yes, there are a few moms out there who expect a lavish gift for Mother’s Day but I would venture to say that most moms don’t. The primary gift they are looking for is recognition and appreciation. A simple “Thank you for all that you do. We couldn’t do it without you!” is essential. The work of a mom is so often invisible and taken for granted. Today is the day to say “Thanks for always doing the dishes, fixing the meals, taking care of the children, planning the holiday celebrations, buying the birthday presents, helping with the school projects,” etc. etc.

Tip No. 2: Two must-dos

If there are two things you must do on Mother’s Day, they are:

1. Visit your mom, or, if not possible, call her.
2. Send a token message of thanks. This can be a card, an e-mail, a Facebook message, a photo or a formal gift but you should send something in writing as well.

Tip No. 3: Gifts

If you are giving a gift to your mom, this is often very difficult. Even with a lot of thought and preparation, it is hard to get something that the gift recipient just loves. If you recall my virtual gift experiments this past Christmas with Ruly Ruth and my sister-in-law, my gift-giving success rate was pretty low.

The Usual Fare

Most people fall back on the standards for Mother’s Day: flowers, perfume, jewelry, bath and body products, chocolate, scarves or gift certificates for massages. To be sure, these are nice gifts, but if you go this route, just be careful with the presentation and write a nice card. You don’t want mom to think that you chose this gift because you couldn’t think of anything else. For an example of an extremely clever presentation (along with printable labels so you can recreate it yourself), check out this “Mother’s Day emergency can” from Our Best Bites.

Also, make sure that the gift you have chosen is the type of thing your mom would really like. One mother in my life cannot have flowers, perfume or scented body products in her home due to allergies. Some people view gift certificates for services as a burden rather than a help—one more thing to add to the schedule. Several times I have given food or chocolate to someone who, unfortunately, really didn’t want it. There are so many people watching their weight or having health conditions like diabetes that sugary gifts can be problematic.

The Gift of Time

What most moms really want is time, either time to spend with you or help with some task so that they have more time to themselves. If you can find a way to save your mom some time, you will score huge points.

My Yiayia once hinted that she thought the best Mother’s Day gift of all would be what her neighbor got each year….all the children and grandchildren come over to help her weed and plant her garden. When she told me this, I got the sense that the gift was not just a gift to her so that she spent less time gardening but the gift of seeing her children and grandchildren all together cooperating on a project. A mom’s greatest satisfaction is seeing her children grow to be successful and happy.

Other timely suggestions:

• Make breakfast, lunch and/or dinner for her on Mother’s Day or take her and the family out to eat at a restaurant she likes.
• Thoroughly wash her car, inside and out (perhaps using these Ruly tips) or send it out for detailing (bonus points if the car is a well-used minivan).
• If you are handy, help with some home repair/home improvement project she needs doing.
• Offer to clean for her, either routine cleaning like vacuuming or scrubbing the bathroom, or a special project like cleaning out the garage.
• Offer to come over to spend an afternoon cooking together to make meals to freeze and eat for the next week.
• For moms with young children, the gift of babysitting services so mom and dad can have a night out is an incredible gift!

The Thoughtful Gift

If you don’t live close by to your mom, it is really hard to give the gift of time in any meaningful way so you are back to coming up with the perfect gift—the type of gift that will make your mom blush with pride at her thoughtful child. This is really hit and miss with me and I don’t always get it right. Below is a list of gift suggestions that can hit the mark (or go terribly wrong!)

• Clothing – if you know her size and have a good eye for your mom’s taste in clothes, you will make your mom’s day. She will think of you each time she wears “the ____ that ____ gave me” and is likely to tell all her friends about it. The downside, of course, is that if you don’t know her size or her taste in clothes, you can get into huge trouble. (When in doubt, always guess a size smaller on clothing rather than a size larger and always include a gift receipt for exchanges.)
• Books – Books are great because there is a book on just about every subject under the sun. The most thoughtful gift books are usually the ones that recognize a little-known interest someone has. By choosing a book on that interest, you show that you really know the person. Another way to personalize a gift book is to have it custom-inscribed by the author. Both of these feats can be really hard to achieve. It is very easy to focus too much on the surface qualities of a person and end up giving people books they already have or that another gift-giver already thought of. For certain voracious readers, they might prefer to choose their own book and would not mind getting something like an Amazon gift card.
• Photos – Family photos, particularly of young children, are generally welcome but even more thoughtful is to create an album, photo book or calendar on a subject that is near and dear to your mom’s heart. For example, a photo album devoted exclusively to the Greek vacation my Yiayia took us on one year held a place of honor on her coffee table for years! Focusing on what your mom would like to see in the book rather than what is easy for you to pull together is key here. This type of gift can take a lot of time so if you don’t have yours together for this year it is probably best to tuck this idea away for next year.
• Handmade/Custom – If you have an incredible talent that your mom appreciates, using that talent to make a unique gift for your mom will score a big win. You want to avoid cutesy or too-simple crafts here, unless the gift is from a young child. Commissioning a handmade item from a professional artist works too. My grandmother loved to wear a custom-made necklace with the birthstones of all her grandchildren in it, for example. I have continued this tradition with my own mother. We have also had success with custom-printed items from CafePress sellers or custom stationery or notepads from VistaPrint.
• “Tools” – Women like tools too, but not always the same ones men go for. Women’s tools can be anything from art supplies to sewing scissors or knitting needles to yogawear to nice luggage for the frequent traveler or high-end kitchen utensils for the enthusiastic cook. You want to look for something that enhances an activity she really enjoys doing . Make sure you are not choosing a tool that reinforces her standard workload. This is why vacuum cleaners and the like get a bad rap as women’s gifts. Yes, they are functional but they also remind us of a task we have to do rather than something we want to do.
• Music – If you know your mom’s taste in music, a CD is a great gift. In the past, this has only worked for me, however, when I knew a particular artist the gift recipient liked and it just so happened that a new album by that artist released right before the gift-giving occasion.
• Tickets – If your mom likes the performing arts, tickets to a ballet, opera, symphony concert or the like will be popular. Sporty moms may prefer good tickets to a sporting event while cinematic moms may want movie tickets. Extra points if you make it a date to go with her.
• Charitable Contributions – This is a good way to go for the mom who has everything and doesn’t want any more. To get this one right, however, make sure to donate to her favorite charity and not yours. A pet lover might like a donation to her local humane society or a rescue group aimed at her specific breed of animal. A religious mom might appreciate a donation in her name to her house of worship. A mom who participates in charitable walks or runs might appreciate an IOU for a donation to her next event. If you don’t know her pet cause, you could always give to a mom-themed organization like UNICEF.

Because the thoughtful gift is such a challenge, I try to pay close attention whenever someone I give gifts to mentions a special interest. Sometimes I even write down these ideas on my gift lists or in my electronic contact list, along with reminders of any “dud” gift ideas that didn’t go over so well for that person. If you are having trouble with your Mother’s Day gifts this year, make a mental note to pay more attention to your mom so you are ready for next year!

I still have some more thinking to do on my Mother’s Day remembrances. If you have a suggestion or tip, PLEASE share in the comments! Thanks!