Four Miss America candidates: Jacque Baker (Miss Iowa), Linda(?) Mead (Miss Mississippi), Sharon O'Neal (Miss Kansas), Suzie Jackson (Miss Arkansas) / World-Telegram & Sun photo by Al Ravenna. From the Library of Congress prints and photographs collection.
Perfectionista: A woman who shows a level of perfection in one or more aspects of her life.
I don’t have average friends. All of my girlfriends show levels of perfectionism somewhere in their daily lives. For example, I have friends who are perfect about their hair, makeup, clothing, housework, children, cooking, art, photography, career, and interior design. But I will say that not one of these amazing women is perfect at all of these things all of the time. Thank goodness!
It is energizing to be around people that are perfect at what they do. Average, is well . . . boring. Friends that are amazing at their careers always have fascinating tales from their jobs and industries. I love being seen at lunch with my impeccably dressed girlfriends. I love to get perfectly made homemade arts and crafts from my domestic perfectionistas. My passion for food and cooking mirrors several of my friends—we LOVE to cook, eat, and share special ingredients we’ve found. For me, that is bliss.
Being friends with perfectionists is not always easy. If you are the jealous type, there is a lot to be jealous of. Competition can be fierce, particularly in two key areas.
Appearance is often the number one jealousy-inducing factor–the prettier you are the more envy you induce. Among my friends, there tends to be two general trends in appearance strategies. Some women work very hard on their physique and sport a lean, trim appearance. Others focus on clothes, hair and accessories. Both are gorgeous! It is the rare person, however, who pulls it all together with a perfect body, hair, clothes and accessories.
The second major area of competition among my friends is houses. Both men and women can develop house envy. Where women focus on details like granite countertops, cabinetry and furniture, men zero in on the size and functionality of the garage, the outdoor barbecue pit and the size of the TV. House envy isn’t always a question of money, though. It is more about the time and effort invested in the result. Creative decorating can still give you that perfectionist wow on any budget.
I have remained good friends with all my perfectionistas probably in large part because I am not the jealous type. I don’t want to be these women or even have all the skills that they do. I just want to be associated with them–to be surrounded with excellence in the hope that maybe some of it might rub off on me. It also gives me a great network of experts to draw on.
Perfectionistas have a variety of personality types but tend to fall in the following categories:
The introverted perfectionista. This person is usually very detail-oriented and has encyclopedic knowledge in their areas of expertise. Often the perfectionism is rooted in the home setting or personal pursuits like hobbies or crafts. Rarely will this type of perfectionista focus her perfectionist efforts on appearance. This perfectionista will have great ideas but is often afraid to volunteer them. If you take the time to work to draw out the ideas from this perfectionista, however, you will be richly rewarded!
The extroverted perfectionista. More often you will find that this type of perfectionista is focused on appearance and the home. Brand names like Coach and Pottery Barn are more important to extroverts. The extrovert is motivated by social interactions but doesn’t fear them the way an introvert might.
The know-it-all perfectionista. None of these perfectionistas are my friends and it is very hard to be friends with them. The superior attitude and the superficiality of the relationship are hard to overcome. Often these types of perfectionistas are the first to flee should any hardship befall you. They are there for you in the good times but the imperfectness of any sadness or disaster is too much for them to bear.
Embrace your inner perfectionista! I challenge all of you to find your areas of perfection and to apply them in a positive manner to your life. If you do this, I believe you’ll find a new passion for life, have more confidence and look forward to meeting others that offset your perfections.
